My thatha, in his late 20s saw a photograph of Thirumangai Azhwar once, in someone’s house, and could not get past it. So he went to Thirunagari — Thiruvali-Thirunagari, the Azhwar’s own town.

There was a girl there. Twenty-one, carrying water back from the temple well or the nearby pond. He asked her the only thing he could think to ask.

“Whose house are you from?”

And she said, “உமக்கென்ன?” What’s it to you?

That was my paati.

Oh, this thudukku — that untranslatable Tamil word for spirited cheek, the sharpness that refuses to be impressed — is not uncommon over there. The women of Thirunagari have always had it. There is a pasuram in Thirunedunthandagam that knows it well. Parakala Nayaki — Thirumangai Azhwar in a woman’s voice — is describing the moment the Lord took her completely.

நைவளமொன்றாராயா நம்மை நோக்கா
நாணினார் போலிறையே நயங்கள் பின்னும்*
செய்வளவிலென்மனமும் கண்ணுமோடி
எம்பெருமான் திருவடிக்கீழ் அணைய* இப்பால்
கைவளையும் மேகலையும் காணேன்
கண்டேன் கனமகரக் குழையிரண்டும் நான்கு தோளும்*
எவ்வளவுண்டெம்பெருமான் கோயில்? என்றேற்கு
இதுவன்றோ எழிலாலி! என்றார் தாமே.

naivaḷam onRu ārāyā nammai nōkkā
nāṇinār pōl iRaiyē nayangaḷ pinnum*
sey vaḷavil en manamum kaṇṇum ōḍi
emperumān thiruvaḍik kīzh aṇaiya* ippāl
kaivaḷaiyum mēkalaiyum kāṇēn
kaṇḍēn kana makarak kuzhai iraṇḍum nāngu thōḷum*
evvaḷavuṇḍu emperumān kōyil? enRERku
ithuvanRō ezhil āli! enRār thāmē.

What matters is the last line. Listen to how she asks it — not softly, but commanding, the way you’d summon a stranger: “How far is the Mister’s house?”

“Oh — is it not this Thiruvali?” he said. Himself.

Look at what she does. She has lost her heart, her eyes, her bangles and waist-band thinking of Him — there is nothing of her left that hasn’t run to his feet. And still she will not give up the thudukku. She keeps it cool and commanding — the Mister — and asks where he lives as though she might not bother to visit. Loud on the outside. The whole surrender folded up and hidden inside it.

That is the woman of Thirunagari. The falling and the thudukku do not cancel each other; they sit in the same breath.